


Ending Page

by josiie



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Character Study, Depression, Drabble Collection, Fluff, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Romance, Slice of Life, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2016-06-03
Packaged: 2018-04-10 17:13:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 7,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4400396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/josiie/pseuds/josiie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just random EXO drabbles.</p><p>[Chapter 18: ChanSoo]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. All of Me [Kris/Tao]

Kris closes his eyes while he sings and lets himself get lost in the music. He is singing, not rapping; he doesn’t have to share any lines with someone else. He is all by himself - but he is not sure if everything he has now was worth it.

He should be thinking about his solo projects, about his work as an actor and a singer - but the lyrics of the song only remind him of what he has lost.

Zitao is the only name in his head. Zitao is the only person he thinks about every single day, every single minute of the day - and he spends his days regretting his decision of leaving.

He still loves Zitao as much as he did and nothing hurts him more than hurting Zitao. He knows that - he knows that’s why he doesn’t call him back, that’s why he doesn’t text him. But he knows Zitao misses him as much as he does - he misses the days in Germany (and the days in China and in South Korea). He knows Zitao stil thinks about all of the moments they spent together - just like he does. He knows Zitao would probably give anything to have him back - and he’d be glad to go back to him if things were less complicated.

The song ends and Yifan can barely hide his emotions. He still loves Zitao and he doesn’t think he’ll ever stop loving him. He can only hope - selfishly - that Zitao feels the same.


	2. Happiness [Kai/Sehun]

Sehun liked it when Jongin hugged him. It didn’t matter when or why; his hugs were the only thing that could give him peace. It felt comforting, like people had always told him love should be.

And Sehun was happy. He was happy because he was in love with someone who could make him smile when he needed the most; he was in love with someone who loved to see him by his side when he woke up in the morning; he was in love with someone who liked to surprise him and take him out for dinner for no reason – he was in love with someone like Jongin.

But Sehun also liked to make Jongin happy. He liked to cook for him when Jongin had an audition (even if that meant being late for classes) so that he would remember to eat something; he liked to buy silly gifts and make Jongin laugh as he opened the bags (and Jongin’s smile was pure and beautiful); he liked to watch Jongin’s favourite movies with him to cheer him up.

And it always felt like a dream, to have Jongin holding him close enough for Sehun to listen to his heartbeat, making him smile. It was like a dream to feel Jongin’s kisses on his lips and on his neck, Jongin’s warm skin against his own, and his fingers touching every single bit of his naked body in the most adoring way possible.

Sehun loved Jongin. And he knew Jongin loved him back. And they didn’t need anything else to be happy.


	3. He is love (and he is all I need) [Lu Han/Xiumin]

Minseok doesn’t really know what made him want to check on Lu Han. It could have been Jongdae’s voice echoing on hismind, reminding him of how he couldn’t just keep pretending everything was fine with him. It could have been the alcohol, the dizziness making it hard to think.

He can’t be sure - he just knows he is looking at pictures of his ex-boyfriend for the first time in what feels like forever. And it’s amazing how he can still remember every single little thing about Lu Han.

It had been six months since their break up and things were going as well as they possibly could: he didn’t have any problems at work; he would still hang out with his friends; he didn’t even feel sad (but he didn’t feel happy either).

He had been the one to end the relationship; he had been the one who made Lu Han cry – he had been the one who said distance was too much and he didn’t love Lu Han enough to handle it.

But Minseok would be lying if he said he didn’t miss him (just like he had lied about not loving him enough). Because Minseok was too scared; too scared of how much he loved Lu Han – how much he was willing to give up for him.

And seeing Lu Han’s smile on his new photos is enough to bring the feelings back. He can tell those smiles are not real – he knows Lu Han too well; better than anyone else – and he knows it’s his fault.

And Minseok would give everything, anything, to make Lu Han happy again.

That’s why he clicks the little heart next to the picture. He doesn’t even think about it; he just wants Lu Han to know he’s still there, that he still cares about him, (that he is still completely in love with him). It’s cold but the feeling that takes over him makes him feel warm, even during the winter.

He doesn’t expect an answer right away. He knows Lu Han probably doesn’t even believe it. Or maybe he’s just sleeping – Lu Han would always go to sleep early. The only thing he’s sure of is that he needs Lu Han – and that Lu Han needs him.

And he is willing to start all over again, as long as he has Lu Han by his side.


	4. In the End [Kris/Tao]

“Is this the end?” Zitao asked, hoping that it could make the older give up of his decision, trying to hold back his tears. “Are you sure this is the right thing to do?”

“I’m sorry, Tao,” Yifan started, just to be interrupted by a saddened Zitao.

“Don’t call me Tao. Don’t call me Tao somewhere else besides the stage, Yifan,” he almost whispered, trying to control the tone of his voice. “I’m not Tao.”

The older sighed. He knew the younger would be the last one to accept his decision. He couldn’t blame him; he was being selfish. But he really couldn’t stand anymore and he was cracking under the weight of the fame. The pressure wasn’t worth his mental health and his happiness.

“I’m sorry, Zitao. I really am. But I can’t continue with all of you. I’m sure Lu Han will be a wonderful leader and-“

“He’s not you. He’s not you, Yifan!” the younger almost shouted, feeling tears running down his cheeks. “He’s not you,” he sobbed, feeling the older hug him, soothing him with a Chinese ballad he couldn’t even recognize. “This will not be the same without you, Yifan. I don’t want to do this without you,” Zitao cried, making Yifan tear up.

“Zitao, you’ll do great without me. I promise you that. And I’ll always be here to hear you,” the older reassured him, even if he wasn’t sure if his words were true. “We’ll always be friends. Best friends” 

“I don’t want to be your friend anymore, Yifan. I don’t have a best friend anymore. I can’t stand not having you here.“

"I understand,” Yifan did. He would act the same way if Zitao left the group. He knew the younger had the right to be mad. “Just… don’t cry anymore. I can’t stand to see you cry.”

“Go away, then. You won’t have to see me cry anymore,” Zitao replied, as coldly as possible. “Forget I exist. Don’t try to talk to me again,” he knew he was hurting both of them but he really couldn’t be friends with someone who wasn’t his leader anymore. He couldn’t be friends with someone who was leaving all of them behind. They all had their struggles and they fight them together.

“I,” Yifan started. He sighed, understanding nothing could make the younger change his mind. “If you ever need something, you know where to find me, Zitao. Goodbye.” He let go of the other boy and turned his back to him, walking in the direction of the door where a taxi was waiting for him to take him to the airport.

He still couldn’t feel happy and free. Maybe it had been the wrong decision – but only time would tell him that.

But he was sure he wouldn’t feel complete without Zitao as his best friend, no matter how many new people he met. Zitao was too unique and he could only hope he would start talking to him again, when he wasn’t as upset. It was Yifan’s only wish.


	5. Two Moons [Kai/Lay]

It’s four a.m and the dance studio is empty. Jongin turns on the light and starts warming up. He should be sleeping – he knows that – but he can’t.

He is anxious – more than that, he’s completely terrified. He has been dreaming about standing on a stage ever since he was a child but his dream is too close and it doesn’t feel as great as he imagined.

It doesn’t take long until he hears someone enter the room. He doesn’t stop dancing – instead, he smiles. There is only one person who would be there at that time.

They are not at the dance studio for the same reasons. Jongin finds some kind of comfort in dancing. It is the only thing he truly loves and it is the only way for him to feel better. Jongin is hard-work and talent – and above all, passion.

Yixing is a desire to be successful. He wants to sing – and if he has to dance to be able to sing, he will do it. He tries and tries and tries until he perfects the choreographies, the dance steps. It’s a small price to pay to make his dreams come true.

They don’t need any words to understand each other. It’s their little private moment that no one else knows about. It’s the closest to any kind of freedom they can have. They’re fine with it – they still have something to hold on to, something that makes them happy. And that is enough.


	6. Under My Skin [Kai/Lu Han]

Jongin likes to feel how soft Lu Han’s skin is. He kisses it carefully; to make sure he doesn’t hurt the beautiful body in front of him. It’s almost like a work of art and Jongin would never forgive himself for damaging someone so extraordinary.

Lu Han doesn’t ever say it but he enjoys it as much as Jongin does. He laughs and complains when the younger kisses a ticklish spot – like his wrists – and bites his lower lip when Jongin kisses his neck. He can feel the younger’s breath against his neck and the coldness of Jongin’s body always makes him shiver.

He can’t imagine waking up in a world without Jongin. He can’t imagine how empty their bed would feel without him by his side. He can’t imagine not having his lips touching his skin, making him feel loved.

Lu Han holds Jongin a little bit too tightly at night. He’s afraid - too afraid - he’ll just vanish, like the rest of the world. Jongin is the only person he still has by his side. He’s not willing to let go.


	7. Get Down on Your Knees and Tell Me You Love Me [Chanyeol/Kris]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is basically PWP.

Yifan was seriously upset. He had noticed the younger man’s behavior and it didn’t make him happy.

He wasn’t someone who would get jealous easily – he didn’t even remember ever feeling jealous in any of his past relationships – but the fact that his boyfriend had been shamelessly flirting with every single EXO band member, had created a monster.

To add onto his state, Park Chanyeol seemed to be trying to make him go insane with his endless teasing – and, not that he would ever admit it to his boyfriend (or to anyone), he was being successful. Really successful.

It wasn’t surprising that, after two weeks of hell, Yifan had grabbed the first opportunity to bring Chanyeol with him to a bathroom (which wasn’t the best place in the world to make out with his boyfriend but it was the only one they could enter in together without looking suspicious), just fifteen minutes before the broadcast, and started to kiss him like there was no tomorrow.

Chanyeol was definitely pleased by his actions; it had been his intention, after all.

Not that he had any doubts about Yifan’s feelings for him. It was just that he needed a little more affection. It seemed like the promotions were making him tired and had ended up neglecting the younger male. Teasing him and making him jealous had been the only way Chanyeol found to change the situation – without telling what was going on (because he was already feeling silly and desperate).

Kris’ mouth quickly left his lips just to give attention to his neck. Chanyeol bit his lips; the older man knew exactly where his most sensitive places were and he was using that to his advantage. His hands were under his shirt and Chanyeol could feel himself shivering with the contact of the cold skin with his warm back.

“Just don’t leave marks, okay? Cordi-noonas would kill us,” the younger asked, making Yifan smile.

“I like to let people know that you are mine,” the taller replied, biting the other male’s neck and leaving a red mark. “They won’t even notice it.”

Chanyeol didn’t even had time to answer, as Kris kissed him again, letting his hands leave his back, just to start unbuttoning his jeans, between desperate kisses. The older man had immediately knelt down in front of him, getting rid of the clothes covering his erection and putting his mouth around his cock. Chanyeol didn’t even bother to try to control his moans; Kris knew how to suck him off and, hell, he had missed it.

He had come faster than what he wanted but he was pretty satisfied. After all that time without getting anything from Yifan, Chanyeol would take what he could get. He smiled to himself as he felt the other male getting up and unbuttoning his own pants.

“You know what you need to do, baby,” Kris whispered just a few inches away from his mouth. “It’s the least you can do after the last two weeks.”

Chanyeol laughed and kissed him again, biting the elder’s lip, who just laughed as well. However, unlike Kris had expected, he just pulled his phone of his pocket and looked at it, with a sad expression on his face, that the elder knew it was completely fake.

“I think we don’t have more time,” he said, fixing his clothes and hair and opening the door of the small cubicle. “Stay there for a few minutes or else someone might find it weird,” he added, before closing the door and leaving the bathroom. Yifan just stood there in complete disbelief.

When he got to the dressing room, getting scolded by the manager because no one could find him anywhere and they were the next group to go on stage, he could only think that it was his turn to make Chanyeol’s life a living hell.


	8. Untitled [Baekhyun/Sehun]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Dirty talk. Exhibitionism (?)

Sehun has no idea who thought about that scene. The only thing he knows is that Baekhyun is on top of him and his lips are dangerously close to his neck and he can feel the older one breathing calmly against his skin.

It’s cruel – he is so close but he can’t touch him. Not beyond what’s considered acceptable, at least, and Sehun tries his best to control himself. He can almost see Baekhyun’s smirk, while he holds him down, like he has done so many times.

Sehun wants Baekhyun to kiss him, like he always does. He wants him to unbutton his shirt slowly, letting his mouth touch his bare skin, as he undresses him. He wants Baekhyun; all of him – and he knows Baekhyun can notice how much the situation is affecting him.

“What are you think about, Sehunnie?” The older asks, so quietly no one else can hear it. “Are you thinking about me?”

“I’m not thinking about anything.”

“Is that so? Are you sure you’re not thinking about going back home and letting hyung take care of you?” He continues, pressing his knee against Sehun’s crotch, making the younger involuntarily hold on to his shirt. “You want hyung to get rid of your clothes and touch you, don’t you, baby?”

“Y-yes, hyung.”

“What else do you want, baby? Tell me.” Sehun keeps silent, feeling his face get hotter by the second. “Are you ashamed, Sehunnie? Is that so?”

“There are too many people here, hyung. They are going to hear us.”

“We are just acting, Sehunnie. You have to pretend everything’s okay or else they’ll find out.” Baekhyun says, leaving a small kiss on Sehun’s neck. “This turns you on, doesn’t it? You’re such a filthy little boy.”

“Baekhyun-hyung, please, stop.” The younger asks, almost desperate. “Fuck, Baek-“

“Oh, no, Sehun. Good boys like you can’t say bad words.” Baekhyun continues, letting his hand slip underneath the younger’s shirt, as the other keeps holding his wrists. “Do you want hyung to punish you when we get back to the dorm? Do you want hyung to fuck you so that you can learn your lesson?”

“Yes, hyung.” Sehun says, closing his eyes and biting his lower lip, trying not to make any noise. “Punish me.”

“Oh, hyung will do it, don’t worry.” The elder whispers, his lips close to Sehun’s ear, making him shiver. “But that will have to wait.”

And, leaving a quick kiss on his cheek, Baekhyun quickly gets up, walking towards the monitors to check how the scene turned out, leaving a very flushed Sehun on the couch – and Sehun is pretty sure it’ll get worse once they get to the dorm.


	9. You're my earth, air, water, fire [Lu Han/Xiumin]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Character death. Implied self-harm. Mentions of substance (alchool) use

Lu Han can’t handle it. The glances, the acidental touches, the provocations… Minseok tells him it’s all in his mind but he knows better – he knows Minseok doesn’t like him anymore, that he’ll leave for someone else (for the other boy).

(The other boy has a beautiful smile and it makes Minseok laugh. He sings for him all the time and he buys him nice little gifts. Minseok is always looking at him, like he used to look at Lu Han. He doesn’t even realize they are in love – and Lu Han is nothing but his past).

Lu Han doesn’t think he feels anything but he knows that his stare could kill anyone. He lovesMinseok and he doesn’t want to lose him. He is selfish; he doesn’t care about anyone’s happiness but his. And he needs Minseok to be happy.

Lu Han is not surprised when it happens. He knew it – the way Minseok pronounced the other boy’s name was more than enough proof of his feelings. He doesn’t give Minseok what he needs, what he deserves, what he wants. He is a mess. He cries at night when he gets drunk. He calls Minseok. He doesn’t pick up the phone. Lu Han gets he doesn’t care anymore.

(Lu Han gets drunk and hurts himself for the first time when they announce they are together. He is not happy but he has to pretend everything is okay. It doesn’t get any easier. Minseok knows – he knows him too well – but he still doesn’t care).

Minseok calls one night. He talks about his life, he asks about Lu Han’s. Lu Han gets a little bit happy. It’s not what he wanted but it’s better than nothing. It gives him hope – hope he doesn’t need because it’ll kill him. Or maybe – maybe – Minseok still cares.

(He doesn’t and he is not going to marry Luhan).

Lu Han never made it to the wedding – a car was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He thinks he is blessed.

(Minseok is devastated. He never stopped caring).


	10. Skin [Kai centric]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Implied self-harm

“For those who can’t see, my skin is not dark, but tanned,” he didn’t plan on talking about the subject but it had been stronger than him.

Jongin had never felt confident in anything but his dancing – and after failing the auditions for the company, he had moments where he would doubt his own talent and value. He didn’t find himself as handsome as the other members or as other idols. He was just Jongin, someone who looked like Taemin and had a boring personality.

However, his confidence was slowing getting smaller as people around him teased him about his skin colour. It had started with Taemin but he just forgave his best friend. It was just a joke; he was always hearing the older rambling on how he’d lose his fans to him because he was much more interesting and appealing. Some of the members had also teased him but, once again, he tried not to get upset over it. They were always praising him, encouraging him.

The teasing from the fans, from the show’s hosts, from people he wasn’t close with were the worst. He could feel himself getting judged based on something as futile as his skin tone, instead of his talent. He couldn’t help but feel unappreciated – and, at the same time, not worthy of what he had. He wasn’t good enough to make people happy.

He had seen the worried looks from his leader – and Sehun, and Zitao, and Lu Han, and - after that comment. He had talked to the younger about it previously and Jongin was sure he didn’t think it bothered him anymore. He didn’t like to show how much the comments affected him and he just wanted to tell that to all the members, who had been by his side once they figured out it bothered him more than what he would show.

Jongin avoided the rest of the members for the day. He didn’t want to talk about it; he needed to be on his own. He didn’t need their pity or their sympathy. He needed to overcome his insecurities, even if it meant to undress his own skin. He wasn’t scared the scars could make him uglier. He didn’t think scars covering his body could be uglier than his colour. He had always liked red, after all.


	11. Smile (even if the world is falling apart) [Suho centric]

Suho smiles and waves at the fans. He hears the screams; he hears “Kai”, “Kris”, “Sehun”; he doesn’t hear his name but he keeps smiling. He sees the flashes that blind him while he walks, he is pushed and he feels in pain and suffocated but he smiles. He counts the members on his head – 1, 3, 7, 9, 11, everyone’s here – and makes sure they are okay, despite being in a crowded airport – Jongin is not smiling anymore and Kyungsoo and Zitao help him walk. Lu Han hugs Minseok like his life depends on it. Suho looks and makes a mental note to buy a little something for the younger later.

He is still smiling. He signs a few autographs and more photos are taken. He can’t see the faces of the fans; he can barely recognize anyone around him. But he is the leader and he has to keep himself together for the sake of his group. The security guards don’t help a lot but they are doing what they can and Suho smiles at them to assure them everything is okay; he knows they are giving their best – just like he does to his members.

Suho smiles because this is all he ever wanted – but he didn’t know it would be this hard. He knows seven years of sweat and tears. He knows seven years of work, of seeing friends debut, of seeing friends giving up because they couldn’t stand anymore. He knows seven years of singing until his voice was hoarse, of dancing until he couldn’t feel his legs anymore, of acting until he was the character and not himself, of training to become perfect. But he could never imagine it would be this hard.

His smile is worth millions, the fans, the hosts, the employees at the company say. But Chanyeol comes along and his smile is worth billions – and he becomes the smile and the happiness of EXO. His voice is the voice of an angel, everyone told him. But Lu Han, Kyungsoo, Baekhyun and Jongdae are better even if he trains his voice for the rest of his life. He is a great leader, that’s why the company selected him to take care of such a big group. But Yifan was chosen by his group mates – Yifan is not the leader because the company said so; he is the leader because they want him to be the leader. And that’s way more important than being assigned by the company.

Suho smiles one last time before getting into the van. Suho keeps smiling at his members, trying to cheer them up and assures them they were great today. He pats Jongin’s head just to have him mumble something, clearly in a bad mood, before putting his headphones and turning on the music in the maximum volume. He smiles at the eleven tired boys in front of him – not even Chanyeol can smile anymore – because he was taught to smile even if everything was falling apart.

(Joomyun is the one who cries with their first win on a music show, the one who is in a bad mood every morning, the one who likes action films and computer games and the one that almost no one can see since the day he was told he was going to debut.

“Your stage name will be Suho.”)


	12. I think we need to talk [Lu Han/Xiumin]

“We need to talk, Lu.”

It wasn’t exactly a surprise. Lu Han had seen it coming. Minseok could read his too well and there was no way he could hide something so big from him.

Joonmyun was the only one who knew. Lu Han didn’t want to leave without letting his leader know. He knew how much Yifan’s departure had hurt the younger and he wanted to make things easier this time – even if he knew that Yifan was more important to Joonmyun than he could ever be.

But he had no idea how to tell everyone else – how to tell Minseok. The elder was his best friend in the group and leaving him behind was harder than he could ever imagine.

“Sure. Go ahed.”

“You’re leaving, aren’t you?” His voice was calm. He wasn’t upset at him; he just wanted to know the truth. “Joonmyun doesn’t think anyone noticed but he’s… sad.”

“Yes, I’m leaving. But…”

“I don’t need an explanation, Lu. I know exactly why you’re leaving.”

No, you don’t. He wanted to say. Because you are Korean and you don’t care about China; it’s not your home. You’ll be fine if you stay.

But Lu Han knew it wasn’t that simple – he knew that Minseok always struggled with his mandarin and with his weight; he knew Minseok’s popularity was recent and he was still insecure; he knew Minseok needed him, as his only friend – the only person he could share his problems with.

“I’m really sorry, Minseok.”

“Don’t be sorry, Lu Han. You’re my friend. I’m happy if you’re happy.”

His last show is the best show of his life. Every single person he shares the stage with, his band mates, take a moment to make him feel loved. Jongdae hugs him a little tighter and he has tears in his eyes when he lets Lu Han go; Zitao, Baekhyun and Chanyeol tell him bad jokes while they are getting ready for the encore but Lu Han laughs anyway; Yixing smiles at him and Lu Han doesn’t need more to know his brother will always be here for him; Jongin and Sehun forget to be maknaes and take care of their hyung, even when they are in tears after the last song; Joonmyun tells him he’s proud.

And Minseok kisses him. It’s apparently just fanservice but Minseok’s lips against his own were completely real – he is not sure about the “I love you” he hears after it but the smile in Minseok’s face is enough for him.

(“I think we need to talk.”

“I’m not in love with you, if that’s what you’re thinking. I don’t even know why I did that. I just… wanted to kiss you.”

“It’s okay.”

And Lu Han kisses him again. He’s not in love with Minseok but kissing him feels nice.

I love you too.)


	13. Your smile is my favorite smile [Baekhyun/Kyungsoo]

Kyungsoo is happy today. Not that Baekhyun spends his free time looking at his band mate (he totally doesn’t stare at him when he’s reading one of Jongin’s books and wearing his glasses at the dorm and he just looks adorable. Byun Baekhyun doesn’t do that kind of stuff. At least not often.), but it’s hard to ignore the smile on his face – he even laughed at one of Chanyeol’s jokes!

But, Baekhyun has no clue why he’s so happy. No one else seems to notice Kyungsoo’s odd behavior or, if they do, they just ignore it.

(“What if he’s happy, hyung? Honestly, let him live.” Jongin had told him, just before going back to texting Taemin and ignoring him.

“Well, isn’t that a good thing?” Joonmyun said with a smile on his face, just before leaving the house for some grocery shopping – which everyone knew it was a code for I’m meeting one of my ~~boy~~ friends, don’t bother me.)

So, he decides he has to ask the man himself why he’s acting like that. It’s just not Kyungsoo at all. Not the one from this universe at least. And he can’t really deal with Kyungsoo smile right now – not ever, if he’s going to be completely honest.

“Kyungie, can I talk to you?” He’s careful because he might not be in a good mood anymore and Baekhyun still loves himself. Kyungsoo hates to be bothered when he’s alone.

“Sure, Baekhyun. What do you want?”

And there is it. The smile. The goddamn cute smile. The smile Baekhyun has been seeing the whole day. Directed at him. Kyungsoo’s smile.

Baekhyun might as well just kiss him right there – but that wouldn’t be a very smart thing to do. So Baekhyun decides to leave him alone and try to deal with all of the feelings on his own.

“Not-nothing. Go back to your stuff.”

Kyungsoo laughs. Kyungsoo is laughing. At something he said. Baekhyun honestly has no idea what to do. Baekhyun doesn’t usually act like this. But he has some kind of power over him that makes him act like an idiot.

“I just woke up in a good mood. Does it bother you?”

“Of course not, Soo.”

“I’m glad it doesn’t. I wouldn’t want to bother you, Baek.” He says. He’s using a nickname. Baekhyun is probably just dreaming. “Do you want to come with me? I’m going for a walk and I could use some company.”

“Sure.”

Baekhyun has no idea what happened with Kyungsoo but he’s glad he woke up in good mood. Even if his smile makes him feel weak and pathetic – it’s all worth it (because Kyungsoo’s smile happens to be the most beautiful smile Baekhyun has ever seen).

And maybe kissing him after their “date” is not that bad of an idea.


	14. Stay With Me [Sehun/Suho]

Joonmyun is exhausted. He wishes they could have a day for themselves but he knows that won’t happen. Zitao is gone and they have to work even harder; they have to push themselves to the limit – and he just wonders how things would have been if Yifan didn’t leave.

He is not upset anymore. He still doesn’t think he could face the older man without punching him, but they have talked a few times. It gets easier by the day and Joonmyun knows Yifan is happy. That’s more important than anything else.

He feels someone hugging him. He wants to tell them to stop (they are in public) but it’s hard when Sehun’s arms are around him, as if the younger was trying to protect him from the world. It’s usually the other way around – and Sehun just lost his best friend – but Joonmyun doesn’t have the strength to refuse. For once, it feels good to be protected.

“Are you okay, hyung?” Sehun’s voice sounds worried and the older one wants to tell him he’s fine; that everything will be fine. But he can’t.

“I’m tired, Sehunnie. I just want to go home.” I want to make sure no one else leaves, he thinks and he’s pretty sure Sehun knows what he’s feeling. It’s selfish, but Joonmyun would give anything to have them back.

“We’ll be home in a few hours, hyung. It will be fine.”

He holds him a little bit tighter and Joonmyun smiles. He knows he’ll always have someone he can count on.


	15. From the Bottom [Chen/Suho]

Jongdae can feel Joonmyun looking at him. It has become a habit of some sorts; Joonmyun spends his time with him looking at him, like he’s afraid he’ll just vanish right in front of his eyes.

Jongdae can’t blame him. He knows he looks skinnier as the days pass by. He can feel Joonmyun’s eyes looking at his face – the dark circles under his eyes seem to be permanent; his lips are full of cuts and injuries (Jongdae can’t help it, biting his lips makes him feel less anxious); his cheek bones, one of the features Joonmyun liked the most about him, had become one of the things he disliked the most.

He knows he needs to change for Joonmyun. But he doesn’t know how to get up in the morning and not wanting to die.

It was not in his plans to let someone in; he was never meant to fall in love and drag the most important person of his life into his own mess. But Joonmyun had come along, with easy smiles and too much love to give, and he had made him believe things could change – that he could be happy, like everyone else.

But Jongdae could feel himself drowning and not even Joonmyun could help him. It was too much – love was not enough to fix him. How foolish had it been to believe that?

***

Joonmyun never gives up. He keeps showing up at his small apartment when Jongdae feels too sick to even leave the house and he cleans and cooks for him. He helps him get out of his bed and takes him to the bathroom to shower – and these are Jongdae’s favourite moments. He feels so small and vulnerable all the time but Joonmyun holds him and makes him feel safe. The hot water makes him feel more relaxed and he could just spend the rest of his life like this.

They never talk much on those days and Jongdae is thankful. Joonmyun tells him about his day and he makes him laugh. It’s nice enough; none of them can ask for anything else. It’s just how it is.

***

All seems fine when Jongdae has good days. Joonmyun takes him out to have dinner and drives around the town. On their first date, the younger had told him his mother used to drive around at night with him when he couldn’t fall asleep. Watching the lights - the city stars, as she’d call it – would always make him feel better.

They always stop somewhere hidden and Joonmyun always kisses first. His warm hands undress him slowly and Jongdae can feel his warm body against his own. Jongdae is always a little bit too cold and Joonmyun is always a little bit too warm.

The sex is always intense; desperate, even. Joonmyun wants to hold the little bits he can get from Jongdae and Jongdae just needs to feel something.

They always end up at the elder’s house after those nights. Joonmyun doesn’t know but Jongdae always hears him cry when they are in his bed. They pretend to sleep, but they spend the night awake. Jongdae knows he’s selfish for wanting Joonmyun to stay with him but he needs him more than he’ll even need Jongdae.

***

Love is not enough to fix Jongdae. They both know that. But that doesn’t stop them from trying.

(And sometimes, when Jongdae smiles at Joonmyun as they watch the sunrise, they figure it’s worth it).


	16. Love Is Never Gone (broken!Lu Han/Xiumin || Lu Han/Kai)

Lu Han found himself on an empty flat. He had just come back home from work and he found nothing but silence. On the kitchen table, he had his dinner, with a simple handwritten note saying “I’m sorry” next to it.

It was unexpected; everything was fine when he left the house in the morning. His boyfriend had kissed him and asked him what he wanted for dinner, saying that he would stay home the whole day and he could cook anything he wanted.

Lu Han smiled and told him anything would be okay before leaving, not knowing it would be the last time he would see that face - but he couldn’t say he was completely surprised.

(“I love you,” the older whispered in an almost desperate tone, just before letting him go. He never said it back – because he would never break a promise – making the other smile sadly.)

***

A month ago, the older started to distance himself from Lu Han – even if he was always close enough to feel another man’s perfume on his boyfriend’s clothes. A month ago, Lu Han would spend more time with Jongin than his own boyfriend, hearing his endless “I love you’s”, while kissing his skin, discovering his body, making Lu Han moan his name.

Jongin’s lips tasted like coffee and Lu Han loved coffee.

(“I love you, Jongin,” he confessed, almost asleep in the younger’s arms. He didn’t think about who was waiting for him at home, knowing he wouldn’t come that night.

“I love you too, Lu Han.”)

***

Three months ago, Luhan met Jongin at the coffee shop he worked at. Three months ago, he kissed him, just a few minutes before entering his house and kissing his boyfriend. Three months ago, Jongin confessed he had been in love with him for a long time and Lu Han felt more special than ever – because Jongin had found him.

Three months ago he betrayed the one he didn’t want to hurt.

(“How was your day today, Lu Han?”

“It was fine. I’m going to take a shower,” he replied shortly, making the other surprised. It was the first time he treated him like that.)

***

Five months ago he made love with Minseok for the first time.

***

Seven months ago he said “I love you” to Minseok for the first time – and he made Lu Han promise he wouldn’t say it if he didn’t feel the same way anymore, before he said it back.

***

One year ago Lu Han met Kim Minseok.

(“Hello! My name is Kim Minseok and I’m your neighbor. I hope you have a nice time here and I hope we can get along well.”

“I am Lu Han. Nice to meet you, Minseok.”)

***

Five years ago, Kim Jongin was in vacations with his parents in China and he met a boy whose name was Lu Han and he gave him his first kiss – and his heart.

(“I will find you, Lu Han. I love you.”

“I’ll be waiting, Jongin. I love you too.”)

***

Twenty three years ago, a boy was born in China.

(“His name will be Lu Han.”)


	17. Home [Sehun/Tao]

It’s late when they finally arrive to their dorm in China. They had a flight in the morning to Korea and now they are back. It’s been less than 24 hours – even if they seemed endless and terrible tiring – and everyone wants to sleep.

Zitao is tired, Zitao is exausted, Zitao just wants to sleep for a week but he already misses Seoul way too much to rest. He lays on his bed, hearing his manager snore lightly and the cars passing by on the streets. This is his home country: it’s where he his beloved family lives, where the language is familiar and he doesn’t have to try hard to say the right words because he is sure they will understand him (except for Minseok and Jongdae – but they are trying really hard and Zitao doesn’t mind to teach them because they were there for him (they still help him) when he was trying to learn how to speak Korean). But Korea gave him an important part of his life, EXO.

It was obvious that he was close to the Chinese members because they had a lot in common. They were foreigners, trying to make it in the Korean music scene. There is competition but they need to support each other because they are the closest they have to home. But the whole group had welcomed him and he couldn’t imagine himself without any of the members.

That’s why he hated when they were promoting as two subunits. He missed EXO-K, he missed Sehun.

He didn’t know how it started; when he figured out, he was already in love with the younger. His first conversations were awkward and difficult because of the language barrier. But that didn’t stop them from being friends. Zitao found his company incredibly relaxing and joyful; it was nice to be around someone who he didn’t have to be careful with.

They started to go out for bubble tea with Lu Han – that they would jokingly call their personal translator, as he was fluent in both languages - but soon they were doing it all by themselves, learning more Chinese and Korean than they had ever did in the past months (because they wanted to talk to each other way too much). Those were their secret dates, that no one knew about – even if Yifan would smile at them, when they were back to the dorm, giggling and holding hands (“It’s cold outside, hyung!” Sehun would complain, trying to explain the closeness between them).

Tao figured out it would be useless to try to sleep. He got up and he went to the kitchen to get something to drink. His mother was always telling him that tea was a great way to get warmer and to feel comforted.

He would also do that with Sehun. When they were both stressed and tired, they would sneak to the kitchen and drink some warm tea. They didn’t talk a lot; they had spent the whole day doing interviews and talking to fans and they needed some silence – even the older, with his bright, cheerful and talkative personality (no one had ever told him that being an idol was that hard).

It was a surprise to hear his phone ring. It was even a bigger surprise to see the name on the screen.

Sehunnie is calling.

He immediately picked up. He was waiting to hear his voice since he had got into the plane just a few hours ago.

“I know it’s late but I missed you, Tao. And, if you don’t feel the same you can forget about this in the morning but I think I might be in love with you and… I can’t wait until you come back here.”

Zitao had never felt so happy in his whole life.

“I can’t wait to come back home, Sehun.”


	18. Good Boy [Chanyeol/D.O]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written for a friend and I thought "why not upload it on AO3?". Consider it a celebration of EXO's comeback! (And have you seen Lucky One's teaser? Are you excited?)  
> It doesn't have explicit sexual content, but if mentions to it make you uncomfortable, just skip this.

Chanyeol didn't expected his physics tutor to look like that. Do Kyungsoo was not the fifty-something-year-old the high school student imagined — in fact, he was the hottest twenty-eight-year-old Chanyeol had ever met (not that he had met many, but he was sure Kyungsoo had to be the hottest one).

And that made his life extremely hard — in all senses of the word. It was already embarrassing not be able to focus on whatever Kyungsoo was saying about energy and reactions, but it was even worse to spend twenty more minutes masturbating in the shower and thinking about how Kyungsoo's lips would feel on his cock.

It sure as hell didn't help that Kyungsoo insisted on flirting with him. The younger was sure he wasn't actually flirting — what would someone like his tutor see on a seventeen-year-old?

But Kyungsoo knew exactly how to make Chanyeol feel weak. God, he was completely sure Kyungsoo had stalked him just to make sure he knew exactly where to touch, just to drive him insane.

And Chanyeol was trying but his grades weren't improving and all he could think of during the tutoring sessions was how much he wanted Kyungsoo to bend him over the table and fuck him.

"You're spacing out again, Chanyeol. I don't know what to do with you," Kyungsoo sighed, walking around the room, and rubbing his temples. He had been complaining about a headache for a few days now and there was nothing more Chanyeol wanted than to help him feel more relaxed.

"Maybe I need some kind of motivation?" The student suggested. It wasn't an innocent request. Chanyeol wasn't expecting the older to just do something about the sexual tension going on between them (probably completely made up by his own mind), but he could try to get something out of this.

"How about this?" Chanyeol had no idea when Kyungsoo had gotten closer enough to whisper in his ear. His hands were on his shoulders and, god, Chanyeol could feel himself melt. "A kiss for every correct answer on your next test?"

Chanyeol nearly choked on his own saliva. Kyungsoo had to be messing with him. There was no way the older would actually do it and-

"I asked you a question, Chanyeol." Kyungsoo insisted and the younger could swear he had felt those lips on his neck. "Do you think that'd be enough?"

"I- I think- whatever you want, Mr. Do."

"Now, that's a good boy." And just like that, Kyungsoo walked away from him and grabbed his book, continuing his explanation about the text they had just read.


End file.
